Honor: 54 [ Give / Take ]
10 entries this month
Time Running Out
11:26 Feb 20 2006
Times Read: 841
Nothing but lies from you are spoken
My heart was just a pawn but now has awoken
You left like the many others before
After I just became, to you, just a bore
Opening up, honestly, has it's price
Nothing good, and now I aim this device
At my heart and pull the trigger
So fragile in it's state, it just shattered
Are you happy that I lay before you
At your feet finally destroyed, unable to move
No hope or dreams left within my body
As the blood flows so gracefully
The Blade of Hope was a Lie
05:00 Feb 20 2006
Times Read: 854
Blade upon my wrist
I think of my only wish
The one to end it all
The one of my final fall
It would be simple and so easy
To pull the blade across so delicately
A trail of red left behind
The pain in my eyes to remind
No matter what, I couldn't win
Drowned in my tears when I tried to swim
It was all for nothing
Now I see it was nothing
Just the quarrels of everyone's days
I realized too late and now I fade
Nothing left but a corpse on the ground
With pale skin and the face wearing a frown
The pain in my eyes to remain
And all the forgotten pain was regained
Torn Heart and Regrets
07:34 Feb 19 2006
Times Read: 868
Heart broken
Lost in time
Broken Soul
Can't stop crying
Thoughts are racing
I hear it calling
From my drawer
"I'll let you feel the pain you adore"
I can't pick you up
Promised not to give in
The cuts of the past
The scars on my body remain
Don't give up
Don't give in
I can't listen to the voices within my head
Keep your chin up, it's not that bad
Think of happier thoughts instead of the sad
I can't do it anymore, I beg and I plead
I hide the razor from you up my invisible sleeves
I did it before, can do it again
Hide these thoughts within my head
I won't this time for it is different
Numbness is now nonexistent
I feel for you more then ever
I destroy your life when I was under the weather
I can't forgive myself and all disappeared
When I said goodbye is when my fear came too near
I pick up the blade from within my heart
It was pierced too deep and fell apart
Trust is gone when night is finally here
I say goodbye to everything with one final tear
In Memory of my Father
02:24 Feb 06 2006
Times Read: 889
You were always there for me
You opened my eyes and made me see
Everything in my life revolved around you
And since you passed, my life died too
I will always remember you along with family
So stay close to me in spirit and never forget me
This was written by me in rememberance (sp?) of my Father for the one year anniversary of his death. I placed it in two of the local newspapers around where I live. It was ended by saying "Terribly missed by Tiffany Rose and Nala." Nala was his kitty and now she is my baby.
The Unmentioned One
22:46 Feb 04 2006
Times Read: 894
With the world black and white
No gray included between
Watching the way we act
With nothing as it seems
Cold hope fades away
The emptiness to stay
No bright light to see me through
As I gave up being with you
Dreams all shattered
A broken soul left tattered
Always looking at what's behind
Another stuggle to just get by
My Pain
03:17 Feb 04 2006
Times Read: 898
This is something I wrote when I was much younger.
How come he can't see
All the pain he's causing me,
The sense of insecurity,
The feelings of insanity.
How come no one can see how these feelings creep around my brain and heart consuming all I see?
My world is dark and gloomy now
My friends today seem to be my enemies tomorrow
As I weep in self-sorrow.
Everynight,
Everyday,
Nothing to ever change.
Dedicated to Jared
02:58 Feb 02 2006
Times Read: 910
With such piercing teeth
And glowing blue eyes
And hair dark as the night
My dream lover
I might as well die
Without your embrace
Facts are too hard to face
So come and take me away
Away from this place
Carry me away
On clouds of red flames
Cause in the pits of hell I shall stay
Awaiting your rescue to come one day
Take me with you where ever you are
I am hoping that is so far
Here is my eternal hell
My life down the deepest well
To dark to see anything
But why would you want to, it's just me
The Pain of Love02:41 Feb 02 2006
Times Read: 913
I was asked if I love you
Yes, of course, I know I do
The question on my mind is simple
Do you love me, is it true without complication?
I fear I know the answer
My eyes there is a feeling and look of terror
I knew it was true, the feelings that I felt
I only wish the same could be for you.
I am hurt more then ever
The walls are back up even higher
Afraid to trust, to open up
I only caused pain
For both of them out of vainness
Why did I do it knowing the outcome of hopelessness?
I hate seeing them both like this and look to the mind for answers
Should I give up so easily? Should I let go before it happens to me?
The pain would be less and more time to deal
Should I leave feelings die so everyone can heal?
Okay I want to say this had nothing to do with either of the other two people involved in the whole mess. It is only how I have felt for the past couple of days and I was too afriad to put my feelings in a journal entry.
Damnation
02:11 Feb 02 2006
Times Read: 915
Waiting for something to happen
Anything, anything at all
I feel I can't breathe
They're staring at me
judging me
condemning me
All with just their eyes
I'm praying for something, anything to happen
Please just get me out of here
I can't stand it anymore
The walls are closing in around me
Please will someone save just help me
Put me out of my misery
My thoughts are racing
I need someone's help
Anyone, for now I am begging
Please help me
I think I'm dying
Dying, both inside and out
My lungs have exploded
Blood coming out my mouth
But this death is calming
Compared to what I felt
I welcome this death
For it's what I want
No one cares anyways
With thier lives they won't notice I'm gone
My mind, I can't stand
This pain in my head
The demons of the past that won't go away
Why do they stay
The damnation so great
I can't hold on no more
Someone please save me
Anyone, just please...
Nothingness
00:31 Feb 02 2006
Times Read: 917
Where do I belong in this world
I have no place to stay
I go to one universe
But people just sit and stare
When I left, no one cared
I sat and waited for another door
For a world to come in which I adored
A place without hate
A place without horror
Somewhere I would fit in
Somewhere I was more
When this door appeared
I was almost dead and I feared
Of what I could possibly feel
Something good for once, something that appealled
In amazement I stood in awe
And thought I understood
I could not pass through it
No matter how I wished
For it was not me anymore
I can no longer be free
The pain has now become me
In some sick and twisted way
That is not left for me to say
I'm scared of what is left
For it is only a shell of nothingness that once was
COMMENTS
-